Bay's Desire Page 16

  “Miss Gasnier?”

  Turning, she faced Ezekiel. “Yes.”

  “Mr. Donahue just arrived. I sat him and his guest at the usual table.”

  Brows furrowing, she set down the soup ladle. “Guest?”

  Lowering his voice so the others in the kitchen couldn’t hear, he leaned closer. “A beautiful woman I’ve never seen in the restaurant.”

  A woman. Bile rose in her throat. How could he escort another woman when he knew she’d be joining him for supper? Before thinking it through, Suzette ripped off her apron, tossing it on the counter before shoving open the door to the dining room. Sucking in a deep breath, she straightened her spine, heading to what she’d begun thinking of as their table.

  Her steps faltered when she spotted Bay, sipping wine, talking to his companion. The woman’s back was to Suzette. Knowing her husband and considering Ezekiel’s description, she knew the woman would be stunning.

  Before her courage vanished, Suzette moved toward them, jaw clenching as she thought through what she meant to say. Stopping a few feet away, her gaze locked on Bay, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence. It took no more than a few seconds.

  “Suzette.” A broad smile broke across his face as he stood, moving toward her. “Are you able to join us?” The instant the words were out, Bay noticed her rigid stance, the way her face appeared pinched and strained. “Is something wrong?”

  Crossing her arms, she didn’t reply. Instead, she shot a terse nod at the woman. Bay glanced between the two, brows knitting in confusion before a slow grin tipped the corners of his mouth.

  Putting a hand on the small of Suzette’s back, Bay nudged her forward. “I hope it was all right to bring Vangie in for a late supper.”

  Turning in her seat, she looked up at the two of them, her eyes bright. “I do hope you can join us, Suzette.”

  She swallowed her anger at an assumption which almost turned disastrous. “Of course I’ll join you, Vangie. I just, well…I wasn’t expecting…” Her voice faltered, relief causing her shoulders to dip. She felt Bay’s breath at her ear.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should’ve let you know.”

  Suzette lifted her gaze to his, seeing regret and something else in his expression. Leaning into him, she forced a grin. “It’s all right, Bay.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  Features softening, she pressed a hand against his chest. “Please, Bay. It is all right. I’ll go back to the kitchen and prepare our meals. It shouldn’t take too long, then I’ll join you.”

  Vangie had read her friend’s distress right away, feeling a wave of regret at not considering what Suzette would think of Bay escorting her to supper. Standing, she looked at him.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Following Suzette into the kitchen, she touched her arm. “Please don’t be angry with Bay. We should’ve come directly back here when we arrived to let you know I’d be joining you tonight.”

  Embarrassed at the blatant lack of trust she’d shown, Suzette shook her head. “I’m not angry with him, Vangie, and I couldn’t be more pleased Bay invited you. It’s just…”

  “I know, darling, and I’m so sorry we didn’t warn you. Truly, it never crossed my mind you wouldn’t recognize me.”

  Covering her face with both hands, she groaned. “I should never have jumped to such an unflattering conclusion. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you in such finery and how truly stunning you are.”

  “You must trust him, Suzette.” Glancing around the kitchen, Vangie stepped up to the preparation table. “Now, what can I do to help?”

  Much later, the three were still at the table, having finished one bottle of wine and part of another. Suzette fought discomfort before Vangie took her mind off the embarrassing misunderstanding with stories of the two of them when younger. Vangie insisted Suzette had orchestrated all their adventures, many of which ended with some form of punishment. Bay noticed his wife didn’t protest the assertions, laughing as much as him and Vangie.

  All during supper, he’d watched her, wondering how much damage he may have done by bringing her closest friend into the restaurant. Until Bay saw the angry expression, the tension in her body, he hadn’t thought anything of it. He prayed the mistake didn’t cost him what little progress they’d made.

  “Are we ready to go home?” Suzette finished the last drop of wine, her features more serene than he’d seen them in a long time. After the initial tension faded, she enjoyed the meal and conversation the same as Bay and Vangie.

  Bay stood, assisting both ladies from their chairs. Placing a hand on Suzette’s back, he kissed her cheek. “It was a wonderful meal, sweetheart.”

  Unlike most times he’d kissed her, she smiled up at him. A real smile. One he hadn’t seen in years.

  The three used the back door, walking across the street to Suzette’s house. Once inside, Vangie excused herself, leaving Bay and Suzette alone in the parlor.

  “Would you care for coffee?”

  He shook his head. “I’m fine.” Standing, he moved across the room, taking a seat beside her on the settee. A few minutes passed, neither speaking. Reaching out, he settled his hand over hers and squeezed. “I am sorry about what happened tonight. If I’d thought it through…” His voice trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished.

  Placing her other hand on top of his, she shoved aside the fear lodged in her throat. “Do you have time to talk?”

  Studying her face, Bay’s features stilled, dread rippling through him at what she might say. “I always have time to talk with you, Suzette.”

  “You already know I love you, Bay.”

  His chest tightened as the pressure increased. “And I love you.”

  “We’ve both made mistakes. Too many to count. Still…” She let out a slow breath. “Here we are.”

  Gaze narrowing, he nodded, wishing he knew where this conversation was going.

  “The fact we’re here must mean something. Don’t you think, Bay?”

  He shifted to face her, heart pounding in a painful rhythm. “Yes, sweetheart. I do think it means something.”

  Fighting the part of her that warned to stay silent, she leaned forward, letting her lips touch his. He responded, cupping her face in his hands, dropping them as she pulled away. When she licked her lips, a slight groan rumbled in his chest.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about us.”

  Bay cocked a brow, unease settling in his stomach. “And?”

  Biting her lower lip, she surged ahead before her courage dissolved. “I think we should get married.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Suzette’s words stunned Bay. He’d been prepared for the worst, such as her deciding she’d never trust him enough to continue their marriage.

  It had surprised him when she hadn’t questioned his assertion he’d never bedded any of the women she’d seen him with. Most people assumed he had, but Suzette accepted the claim without asking any questions. Bay had seen it as an act of trust. His actions humiliated her, but weren’t the real reason she’d finally succumbed to his insistence on a divorce. A divorce he’d talked her out of…at least temporarily.

  The disillusionment occurred because he’d abandoned her. He hadn’t left a note or sent a telegram explaining his reasons for leaving. Bay hadn’t communicated with her at all after riding out of St. Louis.

  Although he’d thought about her every hour of each day, going back hadn’t been something he seriously considered. As time passed, shoving the guilt aside had been easier than facing the loathing he’d see if he returned.

  Bay now realized ignoring the pull to go back had been the actions of a coward. Admitting the weakness galled him. He’d always believed himself to be strong, able to face any adversary, never accepting defeat. Weakness had never been a description that applied to him.

  Over the last few weeks, Bay had swallowed his pride, realizing those words did describe him. Cowardly and weak.

  None of it mattered now. Su
zette wanted to stay married. Moving before she could protest, Bay slid his arms under her, lifting her onto his lap and kissing her. Not a slow, tender kiss. This one was hungry, powerful, almost brutal in its intensity. Feeling her arms wrap around him, he tightened his hold, wanting to continue, knowing there were still things needing to be said.

  On a reluctant groan, he pulled back. “Are you certain, Suzette?”

  Glazed eyes moved over his face, her mouth curving into a soft smile. “I’m certain I won’t feel any different in another week, or month, or year. I’ve loved you for such a long time, Bay.”

  “But what I did—”

  Placing a finger over his lips, she silenced him. “Both of us made mistakes. We’re older now, and I’d hope a little wiser.” Cupping his face, she brushed a kiss over his mouth. “If you can forgive me, I can do no less than forgive you.”

  “For all of it?”

  Suzette knew he meant not only the women, but abandoning her, leaving her with little money and an uncertain future. “I learned a couple valuable lessons when you left. First, I will never be without money of my own.” She saw him flinch, as if he’d been slapped. “Second, I no longer expect our marriage to be free of pain.”

  His eyes widened before he drew a finger down her cheek. “You were always so naïve and trusting. I hate the fact I’m the one who stole them away from you.”

  “In a way, what you did helped me. I’d believed our marriage to be a fantasy of devotion and patience during the most difficult times. It was hard to accept, but I now realize few couples are bestowed such wonderful gifts. We love and respect each other. I’ll not expect anything more.”

  Bay felt his heart thud, stomach tighten at her words. “In other words, you don’t believe I’ll stay around if we face more struggles.”

  Nodding, she slipped off his lap and stood. “I’m sorry, Bay, but it’s the only way to protect myself.”

  His jaw tightened. He didn’t want her to ever doubt him again, yet he’d done nothing to give her reason to believe otherwise. “Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.”

  “Yes.”

  “I see.” The painful part was he did understand. Standing, he took her hands in his. “Then I’ll spend the rest of my days proving I’m the devoted husband you deserve.” Lifting her hands, he kissed the palms of each, hearing her sharp intake of breath. “Tomorrow, we’ll arrange a public announcement of our wedding plans.”

  “Our wedding plans?” Breath hitching, she stared down at their joined hands.

  A knowing smile appeared. “I’ll speak to the reverend about marrying us on Saturday. Now that you’ve made your decision, I’m not waiting longer than we must.” Bending, hearing a squeak of delight, Bay swept her into his arms. “And I’m not waiting another minute before making love to you.”

  Carrying her up the stairs, he shoved the door open with his shoulder, capturing her mouth with his. Kicking the door closed, he took the few steps to her bed, never breaking contact.

  Laying her down, he stared at her, allowing himself to calm, refusing to rush their first time in years. Removing his gunbelt and boots, he stretched out beside her, rough fingers loosening the buttons of her blouse while peppering her face with kisses.

  “You’re more beautiful now than when we first met.” Slipping the blouse over her shoulders, leaving her in a thin chemise, he sucked in a ragged breath. “And you’re still mine.”

  “Today?” Vangie set down her cup of coffee, her gaze moving between Bay and Suzette. She’d heard them the night before, the occasional groan or muffled cry. The sounds didn’t bother her. After all Bay had put her through, Suzette deserved to find happiness, and if it was with him, Vangie wouldn’t voice her misgivings. But remarrying him?

  Bay stood next to Suzette, who sat on a chair in the parlor. Resting a hand on her shoulder, he nodded. “I spoke to the reverend right after sunup. He can remarry us this afternoon in the church.”

  “Does he know the circumstances?” Vangie asked.

  “Bay told him enough, so the reverend understands why we want to confirm our marriage vows,” Suzette answered. “To everyone except those at the wedding, this will be our one and only ceremony.”

  Vangie slid to the edge of the chair. “Who else will be there?”

  “Brodie, Sam, and their wives. August rode out to the MacLaren ranch to let the others know about the wedding.” Bay grinned. “Although everyone who’ll be there already knows the truth.”

  Vangie stood. “We need a cake, and coffee, and flowers, and…” Her voice trailed off as she tapped fingers against her mouth.

  “The pastry chef at the restaurant is baking a cake and will provide coffee. As far as flowers…” Suzette glanced up at Bay.

  Vangie spoke before he responded. “I’ll find some.” Turning to leave, she whirled back around. “What time is the ceremony?”

  “Four o’clock. Afterward, everyone is invited to the restaurant for supper and cake.” Bay tightened his grip on Suzette’s shoulder.

  “And you’re going to stand with me, Vangie. Griff will stand with Bay.”

  Joy brightened Vangie’s face. “I’d love to stand by you, Suzette.”

  Both watched as she hurried out of the room and up the stairs. Moving in front of the chair, he took Suzette’s hand, drawing her up to face him. Placing a soft, warm kiss on her lips, he fought the urge to wrap his arms around her. Bay reminded himself they’d have their entire lives to get to know each other again. A knowing grin tipped the corners of his mouth, recalling their hours alone last night.

  “Come with me.” He tugged her toward the front door.

  She pulled until he stopped. “Where are we going?”

  “To buy my bride a dress.” He watched as her face flushed.

  “Don’t you think it’s frivolous to spend our money on a marriage we’re only having to fend off the town busybodies?”

  He turned her to face him, unable to express the depth of his love for this one woman. “I’m buying my woman a special dress so we’ll always remember this day.”

  Soft, emerald green eyes locked on his. “I won’t need a new dress to remember today. We used a justice of the peace for our first marriage. He found the two witnesses, and the ceremony was held at the jail since the saloon was full of drunks.” Kissing his cheek, she grinned. “This time we’ll be in a church with a real minister. Vangie and Griff will be standing with us, and there’ll be a celebration.” The grin turned into a bright smile. “And we’ll have cake.”

  With each revelation, his gut twisted. Suzette had never complained about how they’d married in St. Louis by an indifferent judge and witnesses they’d never met until the ceremony. Bay wondered why he’d never asked what she wanted. In his eagerness to get a ring on her finger, he’d taken the easiest and fastest way to make her his wife.

  While lying in each other’s arms that morning, she’d asked about a church wedding and a celebration at the restaurant. Thinking it had to do with her desire to make a statement to the town, he’d agreed. Until now, it hadn’t occurred to him how much Suzette wanted a marriage creating memories she could carry into old age. Remembrances to share with their children.

  Our children.

  “All the more reason for you to wear a very special dress you can pack away for our daughters.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “No more arguments. It’s a purchase I want to make. One you’ll accept with your usual grace.”

  A wave of sadness washed over her features before she shoved it aside. Her parents hadn’t been at their first wedding and wouldn’t be at this one. They’d never sent a letter congratulating them. Never asked any questions about the man their only daughter had fallen in love with and married. They also had no idea what happened in St. Louis, for which Suzette would always be grateful.

  Bay was right about one thing. Her parents had been consistent in their instructions on etiquette. Learning to be graceful and gracious were two of her mother’s favorite lessons. Suze
tte had learned them well.

  The corners of her mouth slid upward. “If you’re generous enough to offer a new dress, I’m gracious enough to accept it.”

  Tightening his grip on her hand, Bay walked outside toward a new store opened recently by a young widow from Sacramento. Suzette recognized it as the new millinery and dressmaker shop.

  He stopped outside. “Have you had a chance to go inside?”

  “Not yet.” Suzette’s gaze wandered over the dresses, hats, and accessories in the window. “Have you met the owner?”

  “I have. She moved up here from Sacramento.” Feeling her tense beside him, he turned to face her. “Mrs. Cynthia Abbott is a widow with a young son.” He waited for that to settle in before turning back to the window. “Over the last weeks, she’s been working long hours. Two days ago, she finished the front display and opened. Are you ready to go inside and meet her?”

  Nodding, Suzette allowed him to lead her inside, steps faltering at the first sight of the owner. Slim with dark brown hair and clear green eyes, the widow was stunning beyond anything Suzette had expected. And young. Quite young judging by her clear complexion, void of any creases. The appreciative smile the woman flashed at Bay made her stomach clench.

  “Mrs. Abbott, may I introduce my fiancée, Suzette Gasnier.”

  The smile faded a slight bit when the proprietress turned her attention to Suzette. “Miss Gasnier, it’s a pleasure.” Her gaze quickly returned to Bay before Suzette could reply. “Congratulations to you both. I didn’t realize you were engaged, Mr. Donahue.”

  He stared at her a moment, as if seeing the interest in her eyes for the first time. Bay’s voice lowered to a soothing sound. “Miss Gasnier and I have known each other a long time. We first met in St. Louis. I’m honored to admit she finally accepted my proposal of marriage.” Placing a proprietary hand on the small of Suzette’s back, he bent, kissing her temple. “The fact is, we’re marrying this afternoon and Miss Gasnier requires a gown. Do you have something elegant that will suit her?”