Solitude Gorge Read online

  “She won’t wait forever.”

  Travis’s jaw worked, but all he could offer was a curt nod before walking toward the buggy.

  “Good afternoon, Isabella.” Lifting his arms, he placed them around her waist, lowering her to the ground. “I didn’t know you were coming out today.”

  Taking off her gloves, she folded them carefully, taking her time, then slipped them into her reticule. Reaching up, she adjusted her hat before letting her gaze meet his, clutching her hands in front of her.

  “I’ve not seen you since Wyatt and Nora married. Not even at church.”

  He felt the guilt build. They’d always met each other before church, sat together, then talked for a while after the service. Most times, they’d have supper with the sheriff, Gabe Evans, his wife, Lena, and their son, Jack. Lena and Isabella had been friends since childhood. At one time, Isabella had been Jack’s guardian, taking care of him while Lena sorted out some difficult issues in her life. Travis had always enjoyed their meals with the Evans family.

  Lately, for reasons he couldn’t explain, he’d felt the need to put distance between him and Isabella. Instead of being honest with her, he’d stayed away from town on Sundays, choosing to work with the horses. Travis rationalized his actions, telling himself they had horses to break, Army contracts to fill.

  He crossed his arms, staring at his boots before lifting his gaze to hers. “I’ve been working long hours, trying to catch up after the fire. There’s been much to do.”

  She stared at him, her features impassive. “I see.” Isabella glanced at the porch, seeing no one had yet come out to greet her. “It’s strange, though. You’ve never had a problem riding over to Luke’s to visit me before. Even after the fire, no more than two days went by before you came to see me.”

  Travis had no good answer. How did you tell the woman you cared so deeply about you weren’t ready to begin again?

  The death of his wife and daughter tore his world apart, created a void no one had been able to fill until he’d met Isabella. Even so, he’d never been able to speak the words or tell her of his inability to commit. Travis didn’t believe he ever could.

  “Well, I suppose—” He stopped at the sound of voices on the porch.

  “Isabella! I didn’t know you were coming out this evening. You’ll stay for supper and the night, won’t you?” Rachel, Dax Pelletier’s wife, walked down the steps. Behind her, Ginny, Luke Pelletier’s wife, followed behind, carrying their young son, Cooper.

  Returning her friends’ hugs, Isabella stepped back. “I only planned to come by to speak with Travis.” She shot him a mild glance.

  He touched the brim of his hat. “If you ladies will excuse me…” His eyes locked on Isabella for an extended moment before he turned and walked away.

  Isabella’s face fell, her heart cracking.

  “Are you all right?” Rachel placed a hand on her friend’s arm, her eyes full of concern.

  Swallowing a hard knot of disappointment, she nodded. “I will be.”

  “Is something wrong between you and Travis?” Ginny settled Cooper on a hip, her gaze following him as he disappeared into the barn.

  Letting out a breath, Isabella couldn’t help the sadness washing over her. She’d given him time to reconcile his past, been a friend, provided support and encouragement. Every time he looked at her, she felt the love, yet he’d never spoken the words. Not hearing from him in weeks, coupled with his response today, provided all she needed to know.

  “No, Ginny. Travis and I are fine. The same as always…just friends.” Shooting one more quick look at the barn, she turned back to her friends. “Did you say there’s enough food for me to join you for supper?”

  Slipping an arm through Isabella’s, Rachel nodded. “More than enough. And an extra bedroom so you don’t have to drive back tonight.”

  Isabella lived with Luke and Ginny at their ranch house a few miles away. She’d been with them during Ginny’s pregnancy and Cooper’s birth, acting somewhat as a nanny. Many days, Luke brought Ginny and Cooper to the main ranch house, allowing them to spend time with Rachel and her two sons, Patrick and James.

  Stepping inside the house, the full impact of Travis’s actions, or lack thereof, hit her. She’d been in love with him from almost the first day they’d met. Her husband had recently passed away, sparking her decision to come west with Lena’s son, Jack. Travis provided companionship, someone to share her hopes and burdens. He’d shared the terrible tragedy of finding his wife and daughter had died while he served in the Confederate cavalry.

  Travis had fought for the South. Her sentiments slanted to the North. Still, they’d found a way to bridge the gap, becoming close, although never lovers. She now had to accept they’d never be more than what they were today. He’d given all he could.

  On a shaky sigh, Isabella accepted the fact she needed more.

  Travis rested his arms on the top rail of the fence, watching the stallion prance about, shaking his head and snorting. The horse had given them quite a fight, and he still had more left inside him. Travis didn’t doubt the ride to tame the horse would be wild and rocky.

  “Coffee?” Dirk Masters, one of two ranch foremen, joined him at the fence, holding out a steaming cup.

  Accepting it, Travis nodded. “Thanks.”

  Dirk stared at the stallion, seeing him move close, then dash away when either he or Travis shifted. “It surprised me to see you here. I thought you’d have supper inside the big house with Isabella.” Dirk and his wife, Rosemary, lived in a small house not far from the larger Pelletier home.

  Blowing across the top of the coffee, Travis took a sip. “Not tonight.”

  Dirk didn’t respond right away. “It must be hard for both of you. Having been married and losing everything. I can’t imagine life without Rosemary.”

  Chuckling, Travis glanced at his friend. “It wasn’t long ago you two couldn’t stand the sight of each other.”

  Dirk shrugged, tipping back his cup to finish his coffee. “Can’t explain it myself. I guess you just know when it’s right.”

  “Rosemary’s a handful.”

  Nodding, Dirk tapped the cup against the fence, dislodging a few leftover coffee grounds. “That she is. But she says the same of me. Now, Isabella’s quiet, refined. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard her raise her voice. I doubt she has a mean bone in her body.”

  “I can’t disagree.” Travis didn’t want to talk about Isabella. “Wyatt is staying in town tomorrow to work on the house they’re renting from Gabe and Lena. If you’re going to be around, I’d appreciate help with the stallion.”

  Dirk snorted. “He’s a nasty one. Is he part of the Army contract?”

  “Not this one. Dax and Luke want to put him to stud. I can’t say as I blame them. He’s smart, his lines are good, and he’s strong.”

  Staring into the corral, Dirk watched the stallion continue to paw at the ground. “It’s his attitude I wonder about.”

  “We plan to have him breed with Lydia’s mare, Angel.”

  Dirk’s eyes widened. “That sweet thing? What does Bull say?”

  Bull Mason was the other foreman at Redemption’s Edge. He’d married Lydia, one of the ranch orphans, and they now had a son. He was known to be exceedingly protective of his family and friends.

  “He trusts Dax and Luke. Lydia was the one they had to convince. I do believe she’s softened.”

  “You know, Isabella doesn’t have a horse. I’m thinking you should train one for her. Maybe a mare like Angel, or Nora’s horse, Sugar. It’d be a nice gift.”

  Rubbing his chin, he winced, acknowledging how he’d never once given Isabella a present. Other than sharing a meal in town a few times, he’d never given her any token of his affection.

  Thinking back, he recalled all the times he’d walked into the family home in Tennessee with a small bouquet of wild flowers or a length of ribbon from town for his wife. His throat constricted at the thought and the pain that always followed.


  The fever had spread through their small town with a vengeance few had ever seen. Some families were spared, others wiped out. According to his neighbors, his wife had kept their daughter isolated while she tended to the sick. When it appeared the death toll had peaked, his wife came down with the fever, followed by his daughter soon afterward. No matter what their neighbors did to stop the illness, neither lasted more than a few days.

  It seemed cruel to survive the ravages of the war only to be brought down by fever, dysentery, or consumption. No one was immune from loss.

  Falling in love with another woman and marrying a second time held little appeal. Even if he changed his mind someday, he’d never have more children. Losing his wife had broken Travis’s heart. The death of his daughter had devastated him. He’d never choose to go through such crushing pain again.

  “Isabella would want children.” Travis winced at his whispered words. He rarely shared any thoughts on his past or future. He felt Dirk’s gaze on him.

  Dirk shifted his feet, looking back at the stallion. “And you don’t.” It wasn’t a question. He knew how Travis lost his family.

  Giving a brief shake of his head, Travis stared past the corral at nothing in particular. “Isabella’s good with children. She deserves a whole passel of them.”

  “Does she know how you feel?”

  Another wave of guilt washed over him. No matter how much he cared for Isabella, he didn’t have it in him to commit again, face the uncertainty of a future that brought little except hard work and death.

  “I’ve been thinking of telling her.”

  Stepping away from the fence, Dirk looked over his shoulder at the big house, hearing voices waft through the open windows.

  “You need to be honest with her, Travis. She’s too fine a woman to be left hanging on to hope for something that’ll never be. Before you do, make damn certain it’s what you want. Once you have the conversation, you may never be able to take the words back.” He clasped Travis on the shoulder before strolling away, his steps slow and precise.

  Watching him leave, a deep sorrow ripped through Travis, one having nothing to do with the loss of his family. Isabella had been a friend when he most needed one. She always brought sunshine to his dark life, peace to his battered soul. He didn’t want to give those up, but he knew the time had come for him to toss aside his selfish motives and think of the beautiful woman who meant so much to him.

  The thought of being open with her sickened him. The thought of keeping her from having a future with a man who could give her everything made him feel small and cowardly.

  Letting out a breath, he took one last look at the stallion before turning toward the bunkhouse. He’d speak with her before she left in the morning. It was a bittersweet decision, providing Travis with no relief and a bleak future.

  Chapter Two

  Splendor

  Isabella stared onto the street through the window of the restaurant in Suzanne’s boardinghouse, her cup of coffee long since cold and unappetizing. It had been almost a week since she’d gone to see Travis, but the pain of his words as she climbed onto the buggy hadn’t lessened.

  A part of her knew to be prepared for bad news. The shock of hearing Travis confess he’d never be able to give her more than what they already had still crushed her. Isabella hadn’t known the depth of her feelings until he’d dashed them, setting her free to find someone else.

  Cradling the cup with both hands, she squeezed, having the strangest desire to see the china shatter, the same as Travis had done to her heart. He hoped they could continue as friends, occasionally still sitting together at church. She’d responded with a curt nod, unable to get her voice to work. When he’d tried once more to explain, she’d slapped the lines, getting the buggy moving to put as much distance between them as possible. It had been rude and completely unlike her. Still, she couldn’t find it in her to feel the least bit regretful at leaving him slack-jawed, staring after her.

  “More coffee?”

  Shifting her attention to the woman standing next to her, Isabella shook her head. “No, thank you, Suzanne. Two cups are more than enough.”

  Taking a seat next to her, Suzanne set the pot down. “Are you doing all right? You don’t seem yourself today.”

  She thought of telling her friend she was fine. Instead, she stared down at her cup, shaking her head. “I rode out to see Travis a few days ago. He, um…he told me I’m free to find someone else.”

  Suzanne’s eyes widened. “Travis Dixon said that to you? Why, he has less brains than the donkey Noah keeps at the livery.”

  Despite the hurt she felt, Isabella’s mouth curved into a grim smile. “Much less.”

  “What did you say to him?”

  Isabella’s gaze met hers. “Nothing. It shocked me so much, I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even form a coherent thought. I was already in the buggy, so I slapped the lines and left.” Shifting to look back outside, she shrugged. “Besides, there’s not much you can do when someone doesn’t love you. Any reply would’ve sounded angry and bitter.”

  “I’m sure you felt both.” Suzanne placed a hand on her arm. “Any woman would with the length of time he’s been courting you.”

  Letting out a shaky breath, Isabella bit her lower lip. “I don’t believe Travis ever saw our relationship as courting. In his mind, we were good friends, nothing more.”

  “Although you wanted more.”

  Isabella gave a slow nod. “I was so certain he cared for me.”

  “Don’t fool yourself, honey. Travis loves you.”

  A notch appeared between her brows. “How can you even think that after what I’ve told you?”

  Suzanne sat back, smirking. “It’s all over his face every time you’re together. Why, most everyone expected him to marry you.”

  Groaning, Isabella felt her body go cold. “Then everyone would be wrong. It seems marriage is the furthest thing from his mind. He did tell me he never wanted more children and knew I dreamed of a large family. I believe it was his way of making his decision sound more rational and less emotional. Instead, it made me feel worse.”

  Suzanne tilted her head to the side. “I don’t understand.”

  Isabella’s face pinched. “If I didn’t want children, perhaps he could’ve seen me differently. Perhaps even fallen in love with me.”

  “Now that is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Sounds to me like Travis is making excuses for his inability to commit to marriage. The little I know of his late wife and daughter, it makes sense he’d be real cautious about starting another family. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to slap some sense into him.” Standing, Suzanne lifted a hand when Isabella started to do the same. “You stay right here. There’s just one cure for this and I happen to have it in my kitchen.”

  An amused expression crossed Isabella’s face. Besides time, she knew of no cure for what she felt. A moment later, she broke into a full smile.

  “Misery is meant to be shared.” Suzanne set down two plates, each holding a large slice of chocolate cake. Pulling a clean cup from her apron, she sat down, filling it with coffee. Picking up her fork, she looked at Isabella. “This is a time-proven way to get over a broken heart.”

  Taking a huge bite, Isabella chewed, her eyes closing as she savored the rare treat. Swallowing, she glanced at Suzanne. “Wherever did you get chocolate?”

  “Baron Klaussner brought it with him from New York. He said no menu is complete without chocolate cake.”

  Everyone in Splendor had been shocked when Baron Ernst Wolfgang Klaussner and his son, Johann, arrived from New York with a full entourage. Although somewhat hesitant to accept him, he’d proven to be as genial as he was strict and proper.

  Taking another bite, Isabella smiled. “I do believe the baron is right. How much cake is left?”

  Suzanne laughed. “Enough to cure several broken hearts. Do you want another slice?”

  She glanced at her empty plate. “Absolutely.”

/>   Redemption’s Edge

  “Two more and we’ll have what we need for the contract.” Travis studied the remaining mares. He and Wyatt had left what they considered the easiest horses for last. Watching Wyatt walk into the corral toward a horse already bucking, snorting, and pawing at the ground, Travis hoped they’d made the right decision.

  He felt fortunate for the heavy workload over the last week. Up at dawn, falling onto his bunk late at night, exhausted from the grueling pace of breaking the wild horses. As much as he’d hoped the fatigue would keep his mind off Isabella, it hadn’t. A week after seeing her, he still found himself staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep until a few hours before sunup. His mind told him he’d been wise to push Isabella away. His heart had a different response. Travis couldn’t stop wondering if he’d made a huge mistake, one he’d never be able to correct.

  “I’ve got several of the men saddling up to ride toward the gorge. That’s the last place we spotted the other herd.” Dirk stopped next to Travis, his gaze locked on Wyatt.

  Giving himself a mental shake, Travis shoved thoughts of Isabella out of his head. “Do you want me to go with them?”

  “Does Wyatt need you here to finish with the last two mares?”

  Travis’s eyes crinkled as he watched his friend work his magic on the skittish horse. “You’ll need one man to keep watch in case anything happens.”

  Dirk nodded. “I’ll send Billy over while you join the others. Mal and Tat are in the group riding out with you.”

  At eighteen, Billy Zales had come a long way since he and several other orphans were discovered living in a cave near the ranch. Like Wyatt and Travis, Billy had a talent for breaking and training horses.

  Dirk took off in one direction while Travis headed toward a nearby corral, whistling for Banjo, his large sorrel gelding.

  After his injury at the Battle of Yellow Tavern, he’d never recovered his horse, believing the Union cavalry confiscated him along with many others. He’d been lucky to barter Banjo from a neighbor who’d stayed with Travis’s wife and daughter until there was nothing more anyone could do. The man had been happy to give Travis the gelding in exchange for two cows. Another neighbor bought his property at a fair price, more than Travis expected.