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  “Is that why it took so long?”

  Rubbing Robbie’s back, Sam nodded.

  Turning his head one way, then the other, Robbie looked at his father. “Where are Grandfather and Grandmother?”

  “I don’t know, son.”

  His eyes wide, Robbie pursed his lips, a serious expression on his face. “We should find them.”

  Sam would’ve chuckled if he wasn’t in so much pain—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

  “Yes, son. We should.”

  Taking Robbie’s hand, he spoke briefly to the woman who’d given them privacy. Reaching into his pocket, he removed the pouch. Pulling out money, he handed it to her, not backing down when she shook her head.

  “Please. There’s no other way I can repay you. Use it to feed the children.” He pressed it into her hand before he led Robbie through the church and out the door.

  Chapter Ten

  Circle M Ranch

  “I love it.” Jinny had said the words more than once since Deke arrived, carrying her new saddle into the barn. “And the stamp on the back of the cantle. I’ve not seen it before.”

  Shrugging, Deke ran his fingers over the updated maker’s mark—Ferguson & Arrington Saddlery. “Uncle Rube insisted I be included. He said the shop will be mine one day, so I might as well start getting some recognition.”

  “And he would be right.” Placing her left foot in the stirrup, she swung up into the saddle.

  “Does it feel all right?” Deke had unharnessed the horse from the wagon he drove out, then saddled it. He mounted in one smooth motion.

  “Aye. She’s perfect.”

  “She?” He followed her lead, reining his horse toward the north.

  “Aye. As bonny as the saddle is, I’ve no doubt it’s a she.” Sending him a devious smile, she dug her heels into Dancer, sending the mare into a canter.

  Deke stayed back a moment, enjoying the view. She rode as if she and Dancer were one, with fluid movements and beautiful form. He considered himself a good rider. Jinny rode with an accomplished expertise he envied. Following behind for a good distance, he caught up to ride alongside for a couple miles, unable to miss the joy on her face.

  Taking an overgrown trail toward the eastern mountains, she led him through thick groupings of cypress, manzanita, and stands of tall pine toward the bubbling sound of a nearby creek. Entering a small clearing, Jinny reined Dancer to a stop.

  “How did you ever find this place?” Sliding off his horse, Deke lifted his arms to help Jinny down. He didn’t linger, removing his hold on her waist the instant her feet touched the ground.

  “Brodie, Quinn, Colin, and Blaine found it not long after we reached California. Whenever possible, they explored as much as they could, going north some days, east or south other days. If they found an interesting spot, such as this one, they’d bring several of us back.”

  He led the horses to the creek, allowing them to drink. “They didn’t explore west of the ranch?”

  “Nae. They already knew Conviction and several ranches were to the west. The lads looked for unsettled spots. My opinion is my da and his brothers wanted them to search out people living on our land and encourage them to move.”

  “Encourage, huh?”

  “Aye. You’ll not want to be asking Brodie or Quinn about it, though. They’ll not be saying anything.” Walking a few feet away, she sat on a flat-topped rock, motioning for Deke to sit next to her. “Now tell me, Mr. Arrington. Why did you leave home?”

  Instead of sitting beside her, he took a spot on the ground, crossing his legs. Watching the creek, he pulled small blades of grass out of the dirt, tossing them into the water. Every time someone asked this question, he tried to come up with a good answer—simple and final, as he found that was what most people wanted. Something told him Jinny wanted neither.

  “My parents are good people. Hardworking, kind, tolerant.” He glanced up at her. “I couldn’t have asked for a better family.”

  She tilted her head, watching as he continued to pull grass and toss it into the stream. “Then why would you leave?”

  “It seemed time. As one of the middle children in a brood of seven, I was never lonely. My brothers and sisters all got along as well as you’d expect in a large family. I’m certain you know what I mean.” Studying his hands, he didn’t look up to see the knowing look in her eyes.

  “Aye. Family can be your closest friends, or your fiercest enemies.”

  “I find it hard to imagine any of the MacLarens having strong conflicts. Not the kind that tear some families apart.”

  “Nae, we don’t. It doesn’t mean we don’t fight. We’re all too pigheaded, as Da and Ma remind us all the time. Still, I can’t imagine living across the country from any of them.”

  A quick pain flashed through him, thinking of his mother the day he left. Strong and opinionated, she’d made it clear she didn’t want him to go. It had taken months for her to soften, accepting his decision within days of him leaving.

  “It wasn’t easy. Ma took it hard. I write her every week, but I know it’s not enough. The one good aspect about coming to Conviction is Uncle Rube. He’s my mother’s older brother.” A wistful smile crossed his face. “As soon as I save enough, I’ll send her money for a visit.”

  “What about your da. Won’t he come?”

  “You know how it is, Jinny. Even with six children old enough to work the place, Pa won’t leave it. Going to town for supplies and church on Sunday is as far away as he cares to travel. She might bring one of the younger children, if Pa allows it.”

  “Is it a big ranch?”

  His smile broadened. “Not nearly as large as Circle M. And it’s as much a farm as a ranch. We have enough cows to provide milk for many in the closest town. Same with vegetables and meat. The cattle were my responsibility, along with one older brother. We have up to thirty head. Not a lot, but enough for our family’s needs and to sell to restaurants and boardinghouses. It’s a good life…”

  “But?”

  “I wish I knew. Before Uncle Rube left, he taught me his trade, believing I might need the skills if I stayed on the family ranch. From the first moment, working with leather felt right, the same as sitting a horse and rounding up cattle. In my mind, they all went together. I had to have a good understanding of what it took to control a horse in order to create the right saddle.” He let out a breath, shaking his head. “Pa didn’t agree. He thought my time should’ve been spent only on the cattle, not on some trade providing leather goods others already offered. Somehow, in my heart, I knew working with leather was something I had to do. The telegram from Uncle Rube, inviting me to Conviction, finalized a decision that had been brewing a long time. He wired the money for the trip, and here I am.”

  “No regrets?”

  “Not a one.”

  “Did you leave a sweetheart behind, Mr. Arrington?” Jinny’s face scrunched into a frown the instant the words were out. Thank goodness he chuckled, easing her embarrassment.

  “No sweetheart waiting for me to return. Now, how about you, Miss MacLaren?”

  “Me? I would think it obvious I’m here with my family.”

  Leaning back on his elbows, he looked up at her. “There’s no sweetheart you’re pining after?”

  She shook her head, clasping her hands in her lap. “Nae. No sweetheart.”

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  Biting her bottom lip, color crept up her neck and onto her cheeks.

  “Tell me about him.” Deke didn’t admit to knowing more about Sam than he should. He wanted to hear it from Jinny.

  Shifting on the hard rock, smoothing her hands down her dress, she struggled with what to say. “His name is Samuel Covington, and he is the most remarkable man I’ve ever met.”

  When she didn’t continue, he prodded her. “Explain remarkable.”

  “He’s done so much. When he came to Conviction, he was under the employ of Allan Pinkerton. He gathered, um…information for the Union Arm
y for part of the war, then worked other assignments for the agency. After he finished a job in Conviction, he left Pinkerton. Brodie offered him a job as deputy, which he accepted.” A grin lifted the corners of her mouth. “The truth is, he got in a wee bit of trouble and Brodie needed a deputy. They made a bargain, which kept Sam here for six months. Then they agreed he could stay on as deputy as long as he wanted.”

  “A fast courtship then.”

  Her eyes widened. “It…we…” She shook her head. “Ach. We never courted, Mr. Arrington. I think Sam and I just knew the instant we met that we were meant to be together.” Looking away, some of the enthusiasm left her voice. “At least, I knew. We saw each other on Sundays when he’d ride out with Brodie for supper. I rode into town at least once a week, making certain we saw each other. A few times, Brodie asked me to join them for lunch. And, of course, we saw each other at church.”

  Deke lifted a brow. “I still don’t understand why he didn’t court you, let you and your family know of his interest.”

  She’d asked herself the same many times, wishing she had a good answer. “I believe Sam had concerns about my brother being his boss.” Blowing out a breath, she brushed strands of hair off her forehead. Jinny hated stating the second reason, thinking it would become real if she said it out loud. “Either that, or…maybe he didn’t care as much as I thought.”

  Deke reached over, placing his hand over hers. “I’m sorry his leaving has been so hard on you.” He waited a moment, noticing she didn’t pull her hand away. “Why did he leave?”

  Her shoulders slumped as she shook her head. “I don’t know. He mentioned his family back east and business he needed to take care of.” Pulling her hand from Deke’s, she shifted a little away, staring at the bubbling creek.

  “Does he plan to return?” He couldn’t imagine a man leaving without asking a woman who so obviously cared about him to either wait or forget about him.

  “Sam didn’t know if he’d be able to return to Conviction.”

  The news stunned Deke. “He didn’t ask you to wait?”

  “Nae, Mr. Arrington, he didn’t.” She bit the words out an instant before standing. Staring into the water, she didn’t turn as she spoke. “I know what I’m saying must seem daft…being in love with a man who doesn’t feel the same.”

  Walking up behind her, Deke let his arms hang loose at his sides. “No, it doesn’t sound daft at all. You love a man who left, but your heart hasn’t forgotten him.”

  Shifting around, Jinny looked up at him. “Aye. I’ve been unable to push my feelings aside. I keep hoping he’ll return.”

  Deke’s concerned face softened as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “It’s only been a few months. Perhaps you will still hear from him. In the meantime, I would be honored if you’d allow me to be your friend.”

  She enjoyed Deke’s company, even if he didn’t garner her interest in the same way as Sam. “Aye, Mr. Arrington. I would value your friendship.”

  Smiling, he turned them toward their horses, tucking her hand through his arm. “Then I would request you call me Deke.”

  A resigned smile crossed her face. “Then you must call me Jinny.”

  “It would be my pleasure, Jinny.”

  Greytown

  Sam hesitated taking Robbie with him to the makeshift morgue, yet his options were few. As they walked down the center of the small town, a village really when one took it all in, he realized he had no options at all. He didn’t have a place to stay or anyone to watch his son while he continued searching for his parents.

  Getting close to the other end of town, the location the woman had directed him, he passed several groups of people hovering together. Sam shuddered at their ragged, despondent features, the look of total disillusionment on their faces. Approaching a small cluster of men, he waited to speak until they turned toward him.

  “By chance, were you on the SS Lincoln?”

  Robbie clutched Sam’s hand tighter, his eyes wide as he looked up at the hard faces. Leaning down, Sam whispered something in his ear, getting a nod in response.

  One of the men, older, haggard-looking, with thinning gray hair and a week’s stubble, stepped closer. “Yes.” He raised an arm, sweeping it toward the others milling about, looking as if they’d lost everything. And they probably had. “These are the survivors. At least the ones we know about. Half of those in steerage and in cabins were lost.”

  Sam’s gaze moved over the crowd, finding no trace of his parents. “Could there be others?”

  Red-rimmed eyes met Sam’s. “It’s been a week. I doubt there are others.” He glanced down at Robbie, clearing his throat. “There’s a morgue a little farther down. It’s where I found my family.” The man’s voice broke on the last.

  Sam’s gut twisted at the hopelessness on the man’s face. “I am so sorry.”

  Using an arm, he swiped at the wetness in his eyes. “It was my wife’s wish to move west, see San Francisco. When we were rammed by the other ship, my daughter and son-in-law were with her on our bunks in steerage. My daughter was pregnant.” He glanced away for a moment, then back at Sam. “They had no chance.” As the man turned away, Sam couldn’t miss the way his body shuddered.

  “Papa?” Robbie’s tiny voice reached ears already reeling from hearing the depth of loss for those around them. Bending down, Sam picked him up.

  “What is it, son?”

  Wrapping his arms around his father’s neck, he rested his head on Sam’s shoulder. “I don’t like it here.”

  “I know, Robbie. Neither do I, but we have to look for your grandfather and grandmother. Then we have to find a place to sleep tonight.”

  A big yawn stretched Robbie’s mouth wide as he nodded. “All right.”

  Walking in the direction the man indicated, Sam came to the end of the street, seeing no sign of a makeshift morgue. Then his nose picked up a scent Sam had hoped to never encounter again. The smell of death, as thick as on the battlefields, assaulted him, making him gag.

  Putting one foot in front of the other, he followed the stench straight toward a steamer docked nearby. Stepping onto the deck, he continued forward, stopping the first person he saw.

  “I, um…” Sam glanced at Robbie, who’d thankfully fallen asleep.

  The man didn’t wait for more. “The morgue is on the next deck down.”

  “Thank you.” Balancing Robbie in his arms, he moved toward the steps, dreading what he might find, knowing he had no choice.

  An hour later, exhausted and nauseous, Sam emerged, sucking in a lungful of fresh air. He had checked every body, finding no sign of his parents among them. He should’ve been overjoyed. Instead, for one of the few times in his life, Sam felt uncertain of what to do next.

  Staggering toward the dock, he leaned against the rail, taking a moment to clear his head. The sun hung low in the sky. Finding a place to stay the night and food for Robbie became his priorities. He’d have to resume his search tomorrow.

  Pushing away, his thoughts jumbled, he stepped onto dry land, taking a cursory look around. His gaze swept past a thin figure braced against the side of a crumbling stone building, then returned. Something about the man seemed familiar. Getting closer, his heart began to beat in a wild rhythm.

  “Father.” It came out as a choked whisper, impossible for anyone to hear. Hurrying his pace, Sam tightened his hold on Robbie and broke into a run, not slowing until he knelt beside a man he barely recognized. “Father?”

  Deep sunken eyes met his, a mere hint of recognition passing through them before Thomas turned his head away. Placing a hand on his father’s shoulder, he leaned closer.

  “Father, it’s Sam and Robbie. We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

  Shifting, Thomas’s hollow, red-rimmed eyes searched Sam’s face. Lowering his head, he began to sob, tears falling onto his torn and filthy clothing.

  Sam’s eyes moistened, his heart breaking as he watched the man who’d been stoic and controlled his entire life brea
k in front of him. Not a single obstacle had ever changed his resolve—until now. And Sam felt responsible.

  “Is it Mother?”

  Scrubbing a trembling hand down his face, Thomas looked up, the life gone from his eyes. “She’s gone, Samuel. Lost in the water.”

  “Papa?” Robbie tugged on his father’s collar. “Why is Grandfather crying?”

  His throat thick with emotion, he held his son close, doing his best to control his own sorrow.

  “Papa?”

  Unable to voice what he couldn’t accept, Sam stood, setting Robbie on the ground. Reaching out his hand, his voice sounded hollow. “Come with us, Father. We’ll find a place to stay and clean up. Then we’ll continue the search for Mother.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Circle M Ranch

  Captain Howard Eplett lay flat on his belly, adjusting his field glasses to get a better view of the two riders. He wanted to be certain of the target before he sent his men out.

  “Is that her, Captain?”

  Eplett glanced at the man lying beside him, Sergeant Claude Parry, his second-in-command. The officer and his ex-Confederate soldiers had refused to accept the South had lost, carrying their anger and vengeance across an entire country until they’d landed in Conviction. A town he wished they’d never ventured into. The option had been taken from him when their visit went wrong, ending with the sheriff taking one of his men into custody. Eplett refused to leave him behind.

  “It is.” His low voice spat the words out, disgust coursing through him.

  “That’s three times now he’s ridden out to meet the girl. Three Saturdays without a miss.” Parry inched away from the crest of the hill before standing. “Do you want me to talk to the men?”

  Eplett knew what Parry asked. The men were beyond angry at being held back from breaking into the jail and taking their companion. More than once, he’d ordered them to put down their arms and wait until the time was right. They couldn’t afford to have anything go wrong, nor did he want to lose any of his men in a gunfight. His plan was simple and without the danger of trying to break a man out of jail.