Tougher Than The Rest Read online

  Niall reached for the doorknob but turned to look back at Kate, huddled in bed with the covers pulled around her. “I’m so sorry, Kate.” He closed the door quietly, leaving her alone.

  Several minutes passed before Kate was able to summon her strength and edge her way off the bed. That’s when she noticed the blood. Oh God, what now? She had to clean it before Alicia saw it and discovered what had happened. But tonight she was too exhausted and sick. Kate fell back into bed, falling asleep just as the sun began to rise.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Niall, you and Beth go on to church without me. Kate’s not well, and she doesn’t look good. She’s not running a fever, but I don’t want to leave her alone.” Alicia usually didn’t worry much over a sick adult, but Niall could see she was concerned about Kate.

  He wondered if he he’d hurt her last night. “All right, Aunt Alicia. I had planned to bring Jocelyn to the ranch for dinner. Should I put it off for another time?” Now that he’d made his decision, Niall wanted to move forward.

  “No, dinner would be fine. I’m sure Kate will be feeling better by then. We’ll see you all this afternoon. Have a good time, Beth.”

  “Do we have to bring that lady over for dinner, Papa?” Beth’s question wasn’t unexpected. She didn’t like Jocelyn. Alicia had once said children were excellent judges of character, but he wasn’t marrying Jocelyn for her character. He was marrying her for her connections and land, pure and simple.

  “Yes, Beth, we do if she accepts my invitation. What is it you don’t like about Mrs. van Deelin anyway? Isn’t she always nice to you?”

  “Uh-uh,” she shook her head vigorously. “She doesn’t like me, I can tell. She doesn’t treat me like Kate does. Kate is nice and funny and gives me hugs. Why can’t you like Kate instead, Papa? She loves the ranch and I love her. I don’t want Mrs. van Deelin at the ranch.” Beth fell silent, but her words rolled over and over in Niall’s mind.

  ******

  “Oh, what a stunning dinner setting, Mrs. MacLaren. Everything looks just wonderful,” Jocelyn gushed as she walked into the dining room. She’d been eager to accept Niall’s invitation, even while she knew Beth didn’t want her to come. Jocelyn hoped he’d made the decision to ask her to marry and join their influence. She was certain that, together, they’d have the power to move into the highest political circles of Arizona, ultimately occupying the Governor’s seat. She knew everyone thought she aspired to a higher life in the east, but what she craved was being the first lady of the territory, with all the privileges the title included. Such a sweet deal for both of them. And, as soon as they were married, she’d find a way to move Alicia to town and Beth to a boarding school. She had no intention of sharing the same house with the older, meddling woman and Niall’s disruptive daughter. Unless of course, she and her husband were settled in a mansion at the capital.

  “Why, thank you, Jocelyn. My late husband, Stuart, gave me the set. We use it for Sunday dinners and special occasions. Well, if you will excuse me, I’d like to check on Kate to see if she’ll join us. Niall, will you let Drew and Will know everything is ready?”

  Alicia treaded up the stairs, knowing there was something wrong with Kate, perhaps between Kate and Niall, but she couldn’t imagine what it could be since he paid so little attention to her. Then again, he sure did seem to take notice of her last night at the dance. Today, however, Kate seemed miserable, but not due to sickness. Alicia didn’t know what to make of it.

  “I’m sorry, Alicia, but I don’t feel well enough to go down stairs. Please allow me to take my meal up here after everyone has left. I don’t want to ruin dinner.” Kate wasn’t dressed and looked so distressed that Alicia didn’t push her.

  “Of course, Kate. I’ll let Niall and Jocelyn know you aren’t feeling well. Get some sleep and I’ll check on you later.”

  Alicia informed Niall of Kate’s decision. He turned abruptly and took the steps two at a time, then pounded down the hall to Kate’s room and threw open the door. He came to a dead stop at the sight of her. She was pale, her normally clear blue eyes a washed out grey. It appeared she hadn’t been able to sleep after he’d left her room. He hadn’t slept either. Worst of all, she grabbed the blankets tightly around her, moved back to the headboard with her knees up against her chest, and held her hands up to ward him off, as if he were planning to harm her.

  “Kate, what is it? Did I hurt you last night?” Niall’s concern was evident.

  “No, Niall, you didn’t hurt me.” Not physically, anyway. “I’m tired and have no desire to visit with your guest right now.” Kate had a hard time understanding why he’d brought Jocelyn to the ranch so soon after their night together. Didn’t he realize how much pain it would cause Kate to sit through dinner with the woman who would be his wife? Did he have no feelings for her whatsoever?

  “Kate, I thought we agreed last night to move on with our plans. I’ll be asking Jocelyn to marry me. I believe it’s best if I do it today, with everyone present, including you, unless you’ve changed your mind and wish to make this more difficult for both of us.” Niall’s words were direct but not harsh. She understood his desire to put behind them what had happened last night. She just wasn’t sure she could witness it.

  “No,” Kate said. She tried to rally and steady her voice, but it came out flat. “No, Niall. I know there’s no future for us. You made it very clear.”

  His gut twisted. “Life doesn’t always work out the way we want, Kate.” Niall was desperate to keep his emotions in check and not let her get to him. He’d push his feelings for Kate aside and marry Jocelyn. “I’ll never be able to love you the way you deserve and you have a life somewhere we know nothing about.” He had no wish to hurt Kate, but he had to sever any remaining feelings they might have for each other. “I’ve come to take you downstairs to dinner. I’m asking you not to make this harder on either of us than it already is.” His green eyes had turned an intense, dark emerald and bored directly into hers. He wasn’t going to budge. She could see the determination on his face.

  “All right,” she conceded, resigned to a future without him in it. She knew he was right. The fact remained she could be married, although her heart told her it wasn’t true. She’d make a quick appearance, watch him propose to another, excuse herself, and come back to her room to begin packing her few possessions. She would ask to be taken into town tonight. “I’ll dress and be down shortly.”

  Niall nodded and closed the door. He no longer felt enthusiasm for the future he’d planned before he met Kate. As he descended the stairs he wondered, for at least the twentieth time that day, if he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

  ******

  It was a somber meal, not like the usual Sunday dinners with Drew and Will cracking jokes, Beth laughing, and Kate enjoying every minute of it. No, this was nothing like the other family meals. Kate didn’t want to be here. She couldn’t look at either Niall or Jocelyn, and had no desire to join the conversations Alicia tried to initiate. Kate moved the food around her plate but had no appetite. It wasn’t a lie when she’d told Alicia and Niall she felt sick, but it was more a sickness of the heart than anything else. She couldn’t focus on the people at the table, or the food, when her thoughts were so jumbled. It didn’t help that Niall stared at her much of the meal, glancing away only on those few occasions when she did raise her head.

  Alicia pushed back her chair to stand. “Let me clear these plates and I’ll get dessert.”

  Niall’s words stopped her. “Wait a minute please, Aunt Alicia. I have something to say.” He stood and looked at those around the table. “As you all know, Jocelyn and I have been seeing each other for a few months and have found we have much in common.” Niall paused to gaze around the table at the most important people in his life. The expressions on the faces of his family members didn’t encourage him. Drew shook his head in disgust. Will leaned back in his chair, and wouldn’t meet his eyes. Alicia sat in stoic silence, lips thin, with no hint of a sm
ile or her normal warmth.

  He turned to Jocelyn. The look in her eyes showed smug confidence, almost arrogance, as she sensed she was about to snatch a prize. It unsettled him. Was this what he wanted? To spend a life with this woman? Niall shifted his gaze to Kate and took a deep breath.

  “Hey, anyone around?” Niall would know that voice anywhere.

  “Jamie!” Several voices said at once. Drew and Will jumped up before Niall could say anything further, and moved toward the man standing at the entrance to the dining room.

  “Hey, brother, it’s great to see you.” Drew slapped Jamie on the back at the same time Will offered his hand to his older brother and pulled him into a hug.

  Niall stood off to the side, waiting for the twins to finish their hellos, before also offering his hand. “Jamie, welcome home.”

  Jamie accepted Niall’s hand and shook it before walking up to his waiting aunt and giving her a bear hug.

  “Jamie, what a wonderful surprise. It’s so good to see you.”

  “It’s good to see you, too, Aunt Alicia.” Jamie had missed his aunt, and regretted that his chosen profession always kept him away so long.

  “Uncle Jamie!” Beth jumped into his arms as he bent to grab her and swing her around.

  “Beth, you’ve grown a foot since the last time I was here. How are you, peanut?” How long have I been gone, anyway? Jamie thought. “Why, I believe you’ve grown two-feet since the last time I was home.”

  “I’m seven, and Aunt Alicia and Miss Kate make me wear dresses all the time now.” This last was said with revulsion and a slight pout.

  “Well, you’re real pretty, Beth, and very grown up.” Jamie’s words had the desired effect as Beth beamed up at him and moved back next to her father. “And who is this Miss Kate?” His eyes scanned the table and lit on a pale blonde who was trying to make herself invisible on the other side of the table.

  Alicia spoke up first. “Jamie, meet Kate, Beth’s governess. Kate, this is the fourth brother, Jamie. He has a habit of popping in at the most unexpected times.” Jamie walked around the table and gazed down at Kate, offering his hand.

  “Pleased to meet you Miss…” Jamie started.

  “Umm, it’s Kate...just Kate.” The words were whispered as she took his hand.

  Another man suddenly appeared in the doorway.

  “My God, is that who I think it is?” Niall walked up to the man and offered his hand. “Trent Garner, I haven’t seen you in these parts in, what, a couple of years?”

  At the mention of his name, Kate’s head snapped around. She stared directly at the stranger. But he wasn’t a stranger. He was the exact image of the man she’d seen in her visions, and his name ignited something in her mind, but she couldn’t settle on what it was.

  “Niall.” Garner took the offered hand and shook it warmly. “Don’t get this way much. Guess you’re right. The last time was about two years ago. Right after Beth turned five, if I recall right.” His eyes started to move around the table but came to an abrupt halt when he saw Kate.

  “Katherine. My God, Katherine, where have you been? What are you doing here? I’ve been searching for you for weeks.” Garner rounded the table so fast that Kate had little time to digest the fact that he knew her. He started to draw her up into a hug but she flinched and he stopped, seeing her confusion, and wondering what was going on.

  “I… I know you, don’t I?” Kate wasn’t sure what else to say.

  “Well, I would hope so. You’ve known me for years.” Garner smiled but couldn’t keep the impatience out of his voice as he gazed down at the young woman, then at the faces around the room. What was going on here?

  Ah hell, this couldn’t get worse, Niall thought. His eyes shifted from Trent to Kate, who were staring at each other, one bewildered, and the other trying hard to match this man with her past. Trent. Wasn’t her ring engraved with “Love, T?” This was her husband? Trent Garner and Kate are husband and wife? God, he was going to be ill. This couldn’t be happening. Had he bedded the wife of a man he respected, and liked, more than any other man he knew? But she’d been a virgin, hadn’t she? He couldn’t be wrong about that.

  “I do know you.” Kate’s voice started to rise as tears filled her eyes. She glanced at Alicia with a tentative smile and hope written all over her face. “Yes, yes, I do know who you are. Papa. Oh God, I remember you!” Kate flew into his arms, crying as she held tight to her father.

  Papa? Not her husband? Niall was numb, staring at the two of them hugging, with Trent trying to calm his daughter down, offering words of encouragement, and saying everything would be okay. But Niall knew everything would not be okay. And it was his fault.

  “It’s all right, sweetheart. I’ve found you, and everything is going to be all right.” Trent had a hard time keeping his voice from breaking down.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” Will said. “Kate is Marshal Garner’s daughter. Who would’ve guessed?” He shook his head and sat back down to absorb the latest news.

  While the scene played out in front of him, Jamie gazed around at the faces, trying to figure out how this young woman had found her way to the MacLaren ranch. A woman without a memory, without a last name, and she was now Beth’s governess. There was a lot of explaining that needed to be done.

  “Someone please tell me what is going on here,” Jamie said to no one in particular.

  “It’s a long story, Jamie,” Alicia offered. “Let me go into the kitchen a minute. I’ll get you and Trent something to eat and explain everything.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I can’t believe how this whole thing played out.” Trent was still incredulous at the turn of events. He’d found out Kate was missing a few weeks after her departure for California. He hadn’t heard from her, but that wasn’t unexpected as her trip was a long one, and she’d wanted to stop over in some of the towns during her journey. Then he figured she was getting settled in her new place and setting up the school.

  Everything changed when he received the telegram from the school board saying Kate had never arrived. The only other time in his life he remembered feeling such panic was when his wife had taken ill, then died from her illness. He’d felt helpless, an emotion, that at the time, was new to him. This time he hadn’t felt helpless. Trent knew he had the resources to find his daughter. His main concern had been in what condition he’d find her. But now Trent knew she was safe, and with one of the finest families he’d ever known. He thought of them as family and knew, with absolute certainty, the MacLarens had protected Kate, and not allowed anything or anyone to harm her.

  “It’s about as close to a miracle as I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.” Alicia was picking up dessert plates and offering more coffee to the crowd around the table. No one had left, including Jocelyn, who sat alone, all but ignored.

  Jocelyn had said little since Jamie and Trent had burst into the room. Her expression, however, had been anything but calm. At least twice during the commotion she’d tried to tug on Niall’s arm to get him to continue, but all he did was tell her they’d discuss it later. Yes, Jocelyn was a very unhappy woman.

  While everyone took turns explaining parts of the stagecoach wreck and Katherine’s subsequent arrival at the ranch, Kate sat listening, staring at her father, and twisting the gold band. Her head whirled as she pieced together the events of her life. She was a teacher. It was a thrill to know her guesses about certain parts of her life had been correct. She now knew she’d been on her way to California, or at least she had been until the accident. Kate had no idea if the position was still available. Right now it seemed insignificant compared to the return of her memory and her father’s arrival.

  His arrival also helped ease the pain Kate felt about Niall. Her father could never find out. Nothing could be allowed to damage his relationship with the MacLarens. Even though neither she nor her mother had ever met them, it was well known her father was close to the family. Watching all of them together, it was obvious they felt the sa
me about him. There was no reason for her to stay now that she was reclaiming her past. Niall had made it clear he could never love her, preferring Jocelyn’s prospects and social standing to her. Her father might even insist she return East. The thought made Kate cringe. That wasn’t what Kate wanted. She wanted to continue her life on her own terms, even if she wasn’t sure what those terms were right now.

  “Kate?” Niall stood before her, hands at his sides, discomfort in his eyes. Everyone else had gone outside, but Kate had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed. Niall knew Trent had lost his wife several years ago. He also knew Trent had a daughter, but he would never have connected this woman with his long-time friend. Niall had watched her throughout the telling of the accident that led to her becoming a “part of the family,” as Alicia had phrased it. “Kate, I’d like to speak with you. What happened between us …”

  That was all he got out before Kate’s eyes blazed and her hand came up as if to warn him off. “We don’t need to speak of last night. I see no reason for it, Niall. Your lack of feelings for me, and your plans to wed without love, are quite clear.” She looked away as if trying to organize her thoughts, before continuing. “But if you’re worried about me saying anything to my father, rest assured I have no desire to cause him pain or drive a wedge between your family and him. He’ll learn nothing from me. I plan to leave as soon as I find out if there’s still a position for me in California. If not, I’ll be leaving anyway. It’s obvious I can no longer stay.” Kate stood erect as she spoke to him, gazing into his striking green eyes. She’d miss those eyes, but she wouldn’t miss the pain. She was going to forget Niall, forget he wanted another woman for his wife. Kate thought of him with Jocelyn, kissing her, making love to her the way he’d loved her last night. The image caused her stomach to twist into knots and produce a painful ache in the area of her heart. Yes, she’d forget this place and the bittersweet memories that came with it.