Quinn's Honor Read online

  “For tonight anyway.” He walked into the hall, then turned. “I’ll not be leaving the ranch until I’ve fulfilled the pledge I made to Big Jim.”

  “What pledge?” Her gaze narrowed, brows scrunching together.

  “I promised to stay until he’s fully recovered. I’ll not be going back on my word—no matter how much you wish I would.”

  Chapter Five

  Circle M

  “Quinn. I was beginning to think my oldest son would not be joining us.” Audrey turned her cheek for his kiss before wrapping her arms around him. Stepping away, she studied his face. “You’re exhausted, lad. Take a seat and I’ll bring you some tea.”

  “Nae, Ma. Tea isn’t what I’m needing.”

  Cocking a brow, she nodded toward the study. “You know where your da used to keep his whiskey.” She turned to walk back into the kitchen. “One only,” she called over her shoulder.

  Watching her leave, he removed his gunbelt, hanging it and his hat on hooks near the entry. Opening the study door, he glanced around, noting how almost nothing had changed since his father had been murdered while he, Brodie, and Colin had traveled to Oregon to retrieve Sarah. While still young, she and Colin had promised themselves to each other. Neither had ever forgotten their vow. When they returned to Circle M, it was to find out Colin’s father, Angus, and Quinn’s father, Gillis, had been murdered. After more than a year, Quinn still felt the same surge of pain followed by anger when he saw the empty chair behind his father’s desk.

  Taking a shaky breath, he walked to the cabinet where the whiskey had always been kept. Pulling down a glass and opening the bottle, he poured until the liquid touched just below the rim, then held it up to the morning light streaming through the window.

  “To you, Da.” He tilted the glass toward the sunlight, then took a sip. Ignoring the painful lump in his throat and the ache in his chest, he took another, leaning against the desk. He thought of the last time he saw his father, waving goodbye to them as they rode north. The three cousins had seen it as an adventure, although the trip was also the most important mission of Colin’s life. Taking one more glance over his shoulder, Quinn had seen his da raise a hand, the grin on his face belying the fear he felt for his son. Everyone had concerns about the three young men traveling hundreds of miles. At the time, no one knew how misplaced the fear was—until Angus and Gillis had been gunned down.

  “Ah, there you are, Quinn. Fletcher and I thought we saw you ride in.” Bram joined him in the study, oblivious to the mental journey his brother had been on. “Where’s Warrior?” He slapped Quinn on the back, then slumped into a chair.

  Quinn pushed away from the desk and poured a second glass of whiskey, ignoring his mother’s request. “Already stabled. I didn’t see anyone. Where were you two?”

  “On the eastern hill. We rode up there with Cam and Sean after church. Fletcher swore he saw a group of strays head up that way last night.”

  “And?”

  “Nothing. Sean told him the cattle wouldn’t use their energy climbing a hill when they could get away on flat ground.” Bram laughed, remembering the good-natured ribbing Fletcher had endured. “So, are you done yet?”

  Quinn tilted his head. “Done with what?”

  “Your commitment to Big Jim. It’s been a month and we’re in need of you here.”

  Pinching the bridge of his nose, Quinn finished the whiskey, then set the glass down. “Doc says another two weeks, maybe longer.” Letting out a frustrated breath, he took a seat in the chair next to Bram, cradling his head in his hands.

  “The lass must be a handful.”

  Quinn dropped his hands, glancing at Bram, wanting to knock the smirk off his face. “I’ve no issue with Emma.”

  “Not if you’ve already bedded her.”

  In an instant, Quinn had Bram on his feet, gripping his collar, their faces inches apart. “You’ll not be talking about her like that. Not now, not ever.” He shoved Bram back into the chair, then turned away.

  “So it’s true.” Bram straightened his shirt, then stood.

  Whipping around to face his brother, Quinn took a step forward, ready for a fight. “What’s true?”

  Bram didn’t back down. Instead, he moved closer to Quinn, his voice more conciliatory than taunting. “You do want the lass.”

  The words vibrated through Quinn. He wanted to deny them, pretend what he felt for Emma was only friendship. After a month in her presence, he knew it would be a lie. Nodding once, his pained gaze locked on Bram.

  “Aye.” Quinn turned back to the window, watching the activity around the barn.

  “And you’ve chosen to say nothing.”

  “Aye. Emma doesn’t know.”

  Walking up beside him, Bram clasped his shoulder. “And why not? The lass has always been daft for you. Big Jim and Gertie treat you as if you’re already part of their family. What more do you want?” Dropping his hand, he moved to stand in front of him. At nineteen, Bram was four years younger, just as broad shouldered, and a scant inch shorter. It took no effort to see the pain flash across Quinn’s face.

  “I’ve no desire to settle with one woman. Emma, well…she’s so bonny, so sweet…”

  “Not much different from the lasses here at home, Quinn.”

  “Nae, but different from the women I spend my time with.”

  “They’re a diversion for you, nothing more. Emma could be your life, the same as Colin and Sarah, or Brodie and Maggie. Don’t you want what they have?”

  Quinn scoffed. “And what do you know of love or commitment?”

  Bram folded his arms, his feet spread shoulder width apart. “I’m a year older than Colin was when he made his vow to Sarah. I’m older than Da when he and Ma married. We’re surrounded by love every day on the ranch.”

  “And look at Ma’s life now. Da is dead. She’ll grow old alone, without him by her side. Same with Aunt Kyla. Losing Angus almost killed her.” Backing up, Quinn paced a few feet away. “I’ve no desire to fall in love, then have it all ripped from me.”

  “You forget. Ma has her children, as does Aunt Kyla. Within a short time, Colin and Sarah will give her a wee bairn. You’re the oldest. You’ll be giving Ma the same someday, maybe with Emma.”

  “Nae, Bram.” The resignation in Quinn’s voice stunned his brother. “You, Heather, and the others will be the ones providing Ma with wee bairns. Me? I’ll be content with my work on the ranch, growing Circle M into the largest spread in California. I’ll leave growing the family to you.”

  “And you’ll stand aside to see Emma choose another? What if it’s Blaine?”

  Quinn’s face reddened, his jaw hardening. “Emma would never choose him.”

  “Nae? If you turn your back on her, are you so certain she wouldn’t choose a fine lad like him, or even another MacLaren? And if she does, would you be able to stay here, watching as she built a life with one of our cousins?”

  He wanted to believe Emma wouldn’t choose another MacLaren because he was the one she cared about, maybe even loved. Still, Bram’s questions rippled through him, forcing Quinn to consider answers he didn’t want to accept.

  Getting control of his inner turbulence, he stalked to the door. “The lass will do whatever is right for her. If it’s another MacLaren, I’ll live with it.” His chest constricted on the lie, making it hard to breathe as he left the study and walked outside.

  Bram placed a hand on the window, watching Quinn storm to the barn. Moments later, he rode out, pushing Warrior into a gallop, as if the devil were on his tail.

  “Perhaps the devil at your heels is just what you need, lad,” Bram whispered.

  Quinn rode for over an hour, traveling north into the hill country separating Circle M from the Pearce ranch. If he continued, he’d be back on MacLaren land, the portion of the Mexican land grant they’d bought from Juan Estrada. The same land Uncle Ewan and Uncle Ian wanted him and Brodie to oversee.

  Quinn blew out a breath, feeling the familiar pang of guilt
. With Brodie in town and him helping the Pearces, the added burden fell to Colin and Blaine. As experienced as Bram, Fletcher, Sean, and Cam were with cattle and horses, none had held a foreman position, which was what the additional land required.

  His family had thought he’d be done with the commitment to Big Jim and Gertie by now. He’d thought the same. Quinn also believed he could handle being close to Emma. He’d been wrong. Bram’s insight into how he felt about her had shaken him, made him wonder who else knew the truth. But it was only the truth from his perspective. Emma had never spoken of her feelings, and with their rocky friendship, whatever stirrings of desire she might have felt for him had no doubt been shattered.

  Pushing his hat farther down on his forehead, he began to rein Warrior west until the unmistakable blast of gunfire and a deep rumbling through the ground had him whipping his gaze to the north. The sound had been so faint, he’d almost missed it, but he still felt the ground vibrating. Grabbing field glasses from his saddlebag, he scanned the land before him.

  Moving his gaze left to right, then back again, he’d been about ready to believe he’d imagined the sound when he heard more shots. This time, Quinn’s gaze focused on movement to the northwest. Locking on the object, he blinked a couple times to confirm what he saw, then cursed. A heard of about fifty cattle were being moved, and MacLaren men weren’t the ones driving them.

  Jamming the field glasses back into the saddlebag, he pulled his rifle out of its scabbard. Tightening his grip around it, he kicked Warrior into a gallop, holding the reins in his other hand as he rode low over the horse’s neck. They were less than a mile away. If luck were with him, he’d get close enough to get off a few shots before they realized what was happening.

  Coming up behind them, Quinn sat up in the saddle, raised the rifle, and fired. The man at the back of the herd toppled to the ground as Quinn sighted on a second rider and squeezed off a shot, missing. The next one hit its mark. The rider stayed in the saddle, clutching the horn. Another rustler came up next to him, then turned, seeing Quinn approaching.

  Shouting a warning to the others, he drew his gun and aimed. Quinn reined Warrior hard to the left as bullets whizzed past. Coming to a stop, he raised the rifle, aimed, and fired, clipping a shoulder, failing to knock him from his horse. He’d stopped one and hit two others, but the rest were still in control of the herd, pushing them farther and farther away.

  Roaring a frustrated curse, Quinn kicked Warrior into a gallop, refusing to give up. To his right, he became vaguely aware of a cloud of dust. Taking his eyes off the rustlers ahead of him, he looked over his shoulder, stunned to see Fletcher, Bram, Sean, and Cam racing toward him. A calm certainty claimed him. They might not get the rustlers. The herd, however, wasn’t lost.

  “Creag an Tuirc!” The MacLaren war cry split the air behind him as all four pushed their horses.

  Guiding Warrior with this knees and thighs, Quinn lifted the rifle once more. Aiming, he squeezed off his last bullet, missing his target, but seeing the man rein away. The other outlaws followed, leaving the herd to their frantic stampede.

  “Quinn!”

  He turned to see Bram gesturing for him to follow their cousins. He nodded, knowing they had to mill the cattle. Getting them to circle into themselves would be the only way to stop the spooked charge. Fletcher and Cam took the lead, Sean and Bram close behind, riding alongside the herd, turning the cattle into themselves. The action allowed the horses to slow their frantic pace. The men continued their efforts, Quinn joining them, as the animals bunched together, slowing until the circle tightened.

  “Holy Mother of God,” Bram breathed, coming alongside Quinn, who wiped a sleeve across his forehead.

  “Where did you come from?” Quinn asked his brother.

  “Ach. Did you think I’d let you ride off after what was said? The other lads rode in as I started to follow you. They wouldn’t be denied coming along, so…” Bram shrugged.

  “Does Ma know I left?” A stab of guilt sped through Quinn. He knew how much Sunday suppers meant to their ma. Months ago, his sister, Heather, had taken a job at a nearby ranch and returned for Sunday meals every few weeks. The pain on their ma’s face when Heather didn’t arrive was plain to all. Quinn leaving had been selfish, and foolish.

  “I’m not a complete eejit. I told her you had to check on something and would be back in time to eat. And you aren’t making a liar of me, big brother.” Bram flashed a smile, bringing a slight grin to Quinn’s face.

  “Aye, you’re a wise lad all right.” Quinn glanced around, seeing Fletcher ride up to them.

  “It’s going to take time getting the herd. Why don’t you two go on along. No sense Aunt Audrey getting worked up about you being late for supper.”

  Bram dragged his hat off his head, running a hand through his hair. “That leaves just three of you to bring the herd back. No. We’ll not leave you with such a burden.”

  “There’s less than fifty head. We can handle them.”

  “I’m certain you can, Fletch. But you’ve not just the cattle to worry about.” Quinn scanned the horizon. “The rustlers may return. We’ll not leave you to worry about the herd and them.”

  Fletcher nodded. “Then we best get moving or there’ll be no food left by the time we get home.”

  Exhausted, Quinn flirted with the idea of staying home, sleeping in his own bed, instead of riding back to the Pearce ranch. He could rise before dawn and still make it back before the men rose for breakfast. Instead, he saddled Warrior after supper and left.

  It had been good to see Heather ride up, offering a bright smile to all except Caleb. The two had been at each other from the day they met. It seemed they had been born to fight. His cousin, Jinny, believed it was their way of pushing each other away, too afraid to admit their feelings. Quinn scoffed at the idea of either Heather or Caleb being scared of anything. Then he thought of his feelings for Emma. It gave him something to occupy his mind on the ride back to the Pearce ranch.

  Riding into the barn, he dismounted, grabbed a lantern and lit it, placing it on a hook before unsaddling his horse. His movements were slow and mechanical from years of experience taking care of Warrior.

  The entire ride back, his mind jumped between the rustlers, and where they’d strike next, and Emma. He worried about her taking off again, putting herself in danger. The thought of her getting hurt, or taken by men like the ones they chased today, gnawed at him.

  “I wondered if you’d decided to quit.”

  Quinn spun around. Emma stood not six feet away, wrapped in a thin coat, her arms crossed. He took a couple steps toward her, surprised she’d gotten so close without him knowing.

  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  She walked closer, closing the distance until they were a foot apart. She hadn’t seen the complete exhaustion on his face or the slump of his shoulders until now. He’d been working from dawn until late each night, doing what her pa hadn’t been able to do since Jimmy’s death. The ranch was in better shape than ever, the ranch hands having a competence they lacked before Quinn arrived. Even though she still felt some justification for her actions, all she’d done was make his life harder.

  Reaching up, she swiped an errant strand of hair from his forehead. The rush of feelings when her fingers touched his skin, caused her face to heat. She licked her lips as a pulsing sensation rushed through her. Dropping her gaze to his eyes, her heart tripped at the intensity of his stare. His gray-blue eyes turned stormy, the color of the night sky when lightning ignited the heavens.

  Her stomach fluttered and heart raced when he said nothing, continuing to study her. Before she could step away, Quinn’s hand came up, his fingers wrapping around her wrist, pulling her close.

  She didn’t flinch. Didn’t try to pull away or break her gaze. Instead, she leaned forward, almost touching his chest.

  “Emma…” He breathed her name out, almost as a prayer.

  She could see the vein in his neck pulse, hear the almo
st desperate agony in his voice. Still, she didn’t move away.

  “What is it, Quinn?”

  Searching her face, he sucked in a shaky breath, seeing trust and so much more. Lowering his head, he stopped an inch from her mouth, wanting her to pull back, needing her to meet him.

  Lifting her chin, she placed her other hand on his chest, splaying her fingers wide. Her lips parted an instant before Quinn’s touched them.

  His actions were gentle, a mere caress before becoming more urgent. Letting go of her wrist, he wrapped his arms around her, aligning her body with his. Melting into him, she lifted her arms around his neck, drawing him down on a deep sigh.

  Quinn had never tasted anything so sweet, so perfect. The waves of passion consuming him should have been a warning to step away. Instead, he traced the outline of her lips with his tongue, coaxing her to open, groaning when she allowed him access.

  He had wondered if she’d ever been kissed. Now he knew. A sense of satisfaction gripped him as he deepened the kiss, knowing she’d never given this to another man. He could feel her fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck, sending a shiver of need straight through him. All this time, he’d denied his feelings for Emma, pushed her away, warning himself he wasn’t right for her. Tonight, with her in his arms, her kisses overwhelming his senses, he realized the truth. He wanted more…so much more of her.

  Breaking the kiss, he drew back, sucking in a ragged breath. Lifting her chin with a finger, he chuckled.

  “Open your eyes, Emma.”

  When she did, the air ripped right out of him. Bram, Colin, and his Uncle Ewan had been right. Even without words, he knew she loved him.

  “Emma, lass, you are so bonny.” Quinn leaned forward, placing another kiss on her cheek. Gripping her shoulders, he stepped away, shaking his head. “We cannot do this.” Pain sliced through him at the desolate look on her face. He wanted to explain, make her understand. Instead, he dropped his hands and took another step back, needing distance.